Because
of my husband’s influence (or maybe I should say thanks to my husband’s
influence), my kids LOVE Star Trek. So,
when they were little, a “boo boo” was “almost welcomed” because it meant
wearing a Star Trek band aid.
Having
adult children is, without a doubt, way harder than having little kids. When my children were growing up, I was
physically exhausted most of the time, groping my way through sibling quarrels,
chaotic dinner hours, endless messes, helping with homework and more homework, driving
someone somewhere to somebody’s house, and just the day-to-day tasks needing to
be done to run a smooth household (is there such a thing? :0)
During all those wild ups and downs, in the back of my mind was the
calming thought that once my children were grown, by work would be done.
Looking
back, having little kids was a breeze.
As long as you hugged them a lot and made Kraft macaroni and cheese,
things seemed to be, for the most part, okay.
You could fix many problems and distract them from others., AND A Star
Trek band aid solved about ¾ of all the “owies” they encountered.
All of that changes when they are grown. They go away to
college, fall in love, break their hearts, apply for jobs, leave or lose the job
and question their choice of profession. They forge their way, all just outside
of your helping reach. Then, when bad things happen, they need you like crazy,
but you discover that the kind of help you’ve spent 22 years learning how to
give is no longer helpful.
Oh the agony of watching my beautiful daughter endure
severe heartbreak and hurt...Oh the feelings of helplessness I have felt
because I cannot “make it better”. I don’t
know how to help her, and I don’t know how to handle my own pain over this
situation.
Sometimes my thoughts (okay I’m just being honest) are to
go out and hurt the one's heart who has hurt her.
Sometimes I feel like I wasn’t cut out to be the parent of adult
children. Sometimes I wish a Star Trek
band aid could make it all better!
