Friday, March 8, 2013

Star Trek Band Aids

Because of my husband’s influence (or maybe I should say thanks to my husband’s influence), my kids LOVE Star Trek.  So, when they were little, a “boo boo” was “almost welcomed” because it meant wearing a Star Trek band aid.

Having adult children is, without a doubt, way harder than having little kids.  When my children were growing up, I was physically exhausted most of the time, groping my way through sibling quarrels, chaotic dinner hours, endless messes, helping with homework and more homework, driving someone somewhere to somebody’s house, and just the day-to-day tasks needing to be done to run a smooth household (is there such a thing?  :0)  During all those wild ups and downs, in the back of my mind was the calming thought that once my children were grown, by work would be done. 

Looking back, having little kids was a breeze.  As long as you hugged them a lot and made Kraft macaroni and cheese, things seemed to be, for the most part, okay.  You could fix many problems and distract them from others., AND A Star Trek band aid solved about ¾ of all the “owies” they encountered.

All of that changes when they are grown. They go away to college, fall in love, break their hearts, apply for jobs, leave or lose the job and question their choice of profession. They forge their way, all just outside of your helping reach. Then, when bad things happen, they need you like crazy, but you discover that the kind of help you’ve spent 22 years learning how to give is no longer helpful. 
Oh the agony of watching my beautiful daughter endure severe heartbreak and hurt...Oh the feelings of helplessness I have felt because I cannot “make it better”.  I don’t know how to help her, and I don’t know how to handle my own pain over this situation.
Sometimes my thoughts (okay I’m just being honest) are to go out and hurt the one's heart who has hurt her.  Sometimes I feel like I wasn’t cut out to be the parent of adult children.  Sometimes I wish a Star Trek band aid could make it all better!


  1. You are definitely cut out to be an adult parent! Just be there for her to cry on and vent to! Praying for you guys! xo

  2. You spoke the heart of all mom's with grown up kids out there. Your clarity of thought and transparency is beautiful! Keep writing my friend, and praying and giving out band aids!