Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Cash for Clunkers -- If My Body Was A Car

Maybe I have a sick sense of humor (or it's my age), but when I read this the other day, I laughed and laughed and laughed. I hope it makes you laugh, too!

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it -- Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.


  1. That was very cute. And can't we identify with the hidden meaning? Love you lots.

  2. Hi Julie!

    It's so nice to meet you!!! Oh this made me laugh out loud...I'm almost 43 and I could relate to everything above! Thanks for sharing such a fun post! We used to live in Red Bluff so I know your area well...LOVE LOVE LOVE Redding and oh how we miss In-N-Out Burger!!!

    Happy Tuesday!

    Denise :-)

  3. Hey, we aren't cluckers but classics, right??

    Hope you are having a great week!

  4. My name is Linda S Amstutz and I am the author and registered copyright holder of the essay, IF MY BODY WERE A CAR, which you have published, without my permission, on your blog post dated Sept 1, 2009. (I will email you my copyright if you'll provide me with your email address.)

    If you wish to keep my essay on your blog, please add this under the essay, "c2003 Linda S Amstutz. If you liked this essay, you will enjoy her new romance comedy, SEEING RED, available at Amazon." Please make the book title a hyperlink to http://www.amazon.com/dp/1583742077/

    I would very much appreciate your help in this matter. If you do not wish to add my copyright notice, byline and link to my book, then please delete my essay from your blog. Blogger would not approve of your use of my copyrighted material.


    Linda S Amstutz