I Wish I Were A Bear

I wish I were a bear.
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could get used to that.
And another thing; before you hibernate,
you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
That wouldn't bother me either.
If you're a mama bear,
everyone knows you mean business;
you swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.
Your husband expects you to growl when you wake up.
He expects you to have hairy legs and excess body fat.
He likes it.
I wish I were a bear.